Sunday, January 10, 2010

I Promise Not to Commit Any Acts of Violence, Physical or Otherwise

I entered the throne room of the Tyrant King of The Viking Demon-Slayers of the North content with the fact that the two guards were now missing most, if not all of their major organs. As I entered the Tyrant King looked up from devouring his grilled dragon ribs. He looked up and yelled some Norwegian gibberish at me. Evidently the doors behind me did not find this to be gibberish as they closed soon after he yelled this. The King then proceeded to throw his table aside, get up and take an axe the size of myself off the wall behind me. He yelled again in his crazy language which he seemed to be quite fond of and then charged at me, axe ready to swing at me. I dodged then rolled, stood up, unsheathed my sword then said "Come get me you Cock-Burgling Ham-Doctor".

I feigned right, he dodged left, nicking and scratching each other here and there, no serious wounds. He held his axe high and swung it down at me, I dodged backwards, not fast enough, it cut clean through my black suit jacket and shirt/tie combination. "Bitch!", I cried "I liked that shirt/tie combination!", he merely snarled back at me, I began to doubt whether he could understand what I said, which was annoying as I did like the insult I gave him. We fought more still nicking each other causing minor cuts mainly on our hands and lower arms. But then, I was fooled. He raised his axe as if to swing down so swiftly stepped back, he swings down then halfway through turns his axe the wrong way. He looks at me grinning like a mad man on cocaine, sweat dripping from his beard which became sideburns, he was a man's man alright. That being said, he was a man's man that I wanted dead, or at least incapable of any physical movement.  He then lunges with the end of the axe, missing it's target but still going clean through suit pants and right leg. I collapsed instantly.

The King picked me up by the scruff of my broken collar. Laughing maniacally, we stared into each others eyes, there was almost a sense of respect between us, two manly men, running from a dark past with a taste for dragons. He spoke more of his crazy mouth-words, and prepared to kill me with his axe, as he rose it above his head, i pulled out my .600 Taurus Raging Bull. I put it too his lower jaw screamed "Contemporise Bitch!" and fired.

He dropped me and then he fell back, presumably dead. I dragged my self over to him and remembering Rule #2 fired another shot, right betwixt his eyes. The Tyrant King of the Viking Demon-Slayers of the North was dead. I looked down at the hole in my leg "Shit" i thought out loud, "that's going to need some bionic transplant" the blood was running down my leg. Crimson Pouring From My Leg-Hole.

I began to think, is this the same colour that everyone is seeing. Do we all see colours the same? It's an old question I knew that. A knew thought came into my head, there is no way to possibly ever tell if we see things differently. This is because we are all told the names of the colours regardless of what we see. Someone may see my blood as the colour I call purple, but they would still call it red because of what they were taught at school. It is the names we give them that make this question so impossible. And we can never be certain, this makes it worse. Strange thoughts begun in my head, what if no one sees the same colours in the entire world? I may be the only one seeing these colours come from my leg, hell even the King might've seen it differently. I then realised that it would be exaclty like contrasting colours on the computer, or just changing them with paint. It then dawned on me that it doesn't really matter in the end, and that as long as we are seeing colours we are seeing this world, maybe not how it is, but our site is not hindered.

I then remembered I was in the Throne Room of a dead King of the Viking Demon-Slayers of the North.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cracked eggs, dead birds
Scream as they fight for life
I can feel death can see it's beady eyes
All these things into fruition
All these things we'll one day swallow whole
And fade out again and fade out again.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Something Truly Worthy of Being Shared With the Internet

Hello 

Long Time no see/blog/read/you know exactly what I mean. There has been a reason for this lack of blogging here on el blogosphereo, it is the fact that  I have had nothing good to say. So needless to say I  had been on Facebook and a little bit of twitter posting my nothingness there, much like most of the inhabitants of these social networking sites. This had been carrying on for much too much, it was not fair. But like the others I was oblivious to my boringness and kept it up anyway. But then quite recently my eyes were opened by a friend of mine showing me a video. From the site Newgrounds

THIS 

That is the Video

It really highlights how boring all of our posts and updates of facebook and twitter are.

From Now on On My Twitter and on my Facebook I shall only be posting things truly worthy of being shared on the Internet. Things that will break peoples minds. This is not merely a brag that I will be doing this, you the reader can also do this. Don't just post "Oh my good golly cunting fuckers it's hot today" post something about how you've just destroyed the Graalak of Forlon 12 and the resulting explosion caused this heatwave.

Or not, it doesn't really effect me at all.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He whistles and he runs so hold him fast
Breathe the burn, you want to let it last
He might succumb to what you haven't seen
He has a keen eye for what you used to be